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Home » Lifestyle

orange leaves on a tree
November 12, 2021 (Updated January 4, 2024)

Virtual Coffee Date

by Anne Mauney, MPH, RD

23 comments
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Hi there. How are you?

Not just the immediate “fine, thanks” without thinking about it at all – how are you really? 

If we were having coffee today (my coffee cup is quite large these days – how about yours?), I’d tell you that I am working to embrace the “AND” in life – the fact that two opposing versions of things can be true, and in fact completely normal. 

For example: we are in a season where we have so much to be thankful for – so much joy, so much sweetness.

The big, gummy smile that Wes gives us throughout a lot of the day (he just learned how to roll from back to front, and he’s SO proud every time he does it and gives the biggest smile).

The enthusiasm and energy (SO much energy) that Riese brings to just about everything she does – this morning comes to mind, as she was riding her bike to school while I walked Wes in the stroller, holding up her legs and going “weeee! this is fun!” while going down a small downhill.

It was the most perfectly beautiful fall morning – the sun shining and the trees changing color.

orange leaves on a tree

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And – AND. 

AND we are completely exhausted.

Lack of sleep is really catching up to us hard. We are still in the midst of the 4 month sleep regression (Wes is 5 months old as of November 1, so I’m hoping we are close to getting longer stretches of sleep again? maybe? please?)

If it’s not one awake it’s the other one awake, and… wait, what was I talking about? Yeah, I have no idea, because my brain isn’t exactly functioning on a high level these days.

Speaking of coffee and only partially functioning brains, earlier this week after one particularly rough night, Matt made coffee and forgot to put a cup underneath.

10 minutes later (distracted by the morning rush of getting Riese ready for school) he came back to find coffee basically all over our dining room.

That’s pretty much where we are right now. 

Joy and chaos, overwhelm and exhaustion, rinse and repeat.

Would we have it any other way? No.

Are we incredibly grateful for this life, these LIVES that we’ve been trusted with? Yes, very much yes.

AND also we could do with a little more sleep, a little more time, a little more calm.

But isn’t that how it always is? 

dog and baby

If we were having coffee today, which I hopefully would not have spilled all over the floor but can’t make any promises, I would tell you about a book I read recently that I think all moms should read: Motherwhelmed (amazon affiliate link).

I just finished it and it a) gave me a lot to think about, and b) made me feel incredibly seen in the current phase of life that I’m in. 

I wonder what mothers could accomplish if modern society (especially in the US, with its embarrassing lack of postpartum support both physically and logistically) were set up to make parenthood more manageable. And if we all stopped competing with and judging each other and instead supported and embraced each other with our whole hearts. 

If we were having coffee today (and I’d probably be walking a stroller while enjoying said coffee because the weather has been absolutely phenomenal lately and I love a good stroller walk), I’d tell you that I haven’t started running again postpartum yet.

The last time I went for a run was Christmastime last year – almost a full year with no running, which seems both really sad AND also, honestly, totally fine. 

I miss running, AND also I’m really enjoying doing a whole lot of stroller walking instead.

I miss running, AND it’s just not what I need right now. For my current energy levels and also logistically with the kids in the mix, walking feels right and running does not, and that’s okay.

Running will be there when I’m ready, whenever that is.

stroller walking

In the meantime, I’m starting to work on strength training and preparing my body to handle running again, and that feels like a good first step. 

If we were having coffee today, I’d tell you I can’t believe we are probably only one month (ish) out from starting solids with Wes. The idea of that feels both really exciting and really tiring, because, you know, MESS.

We’re planning to do baby led weaning (<- aw, baby Riese in that post) again and I need to brush up on it with some reading because it feels like I barely remember anything from Riese at that age. 

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I just got distracted by a crying baby who needed milk and now I don’t remember what I was going to finish telling you. So, that’s my cue.

Thanks for reading – until next time, friends. 

If we were having coffee today, what would you share? 

- anne
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23 comments
  • Allison November 12, 2021 · 8:32AM:
    Lovely post. My children are 10 and 11, and in so many ways the intensity eases. But yesterday when they were off school, they argued all day and said "mom, mom, mom" about 50,000 times. The pandemic has heightened the need for time, space, and calm in our house. Many days it is hard to come by.... love your honesty about the joy and overwhelm.
    Reply
    • Anne
      November 12, 2021 · 7:05PM:
      I feel that so much re: the pandemic heightening the need for time, space and calm!
      Reply
  • Emily November 12, 2021 · 9:50AM:
    If I were having coffee with you this morning, I would be nodding right along! I only have one baby (6 months tomorrow!) so far but I keep trying to focus on the AND more. I am frustrated that she naps in 40 minute increments AND I love rocking her back to sleep. I miss her while she is at daycare AND I am happy for the time to get things done (bless WFH so I can handle the house and work!).
    Reply
    • Anne
      November 12, 2021 · 7:06PM:
      Yes! Two sides to everything and both are true/valid. I want to be less needed all day long AND I am already feeling sad about how it will be when I'm not needed anymore!
      Reply
  • Trackbuddy November 12, 2021 · 11:20AM:
    So lovely. Thank you - I really needed to hear that running is always there for us, and that as much as we miss it, it is right in different times and seasons to take a break. (If we were walking right now, I would tell you about how I'm dealing with a nagging injury and trying to be OK with this whole "break" concept.) I would also say that most of the things truly get easier as kids get older. And that once they start having those all-absorbing playdates with other kids (which I call 1 + 1 = 0)...well, it is just extraordinary. Word of advice, you can start social engineering those with other "kindred spirit" kids earlier than you might think...things I learned from the first kid & did earlier with the 2nd kid. :-)
    Reply
    • Anne
      November 12, 2021 · 7:08PM:
      I'm so sorry to hear about your injury... I know how frustrating that is! But running will definitely be there for you again when your body is ready for it. And hopefully we can run again together sometime in the future! We are starting to have some playdates now where Riese is totally occupied with the other kid, even if briefly, and I get to just hang out with the other mom and it's awesome.
      Reply
  • Lauren November 12, 2021 · 11:57AM:
    Aww love this post! Feel like I got caught up with you :)
    Reply
    • Anne
      November 12, 2021 · 7:09PM:
      :)
      Reply
  • Roadrunner November 12, 2021 · 1:10PM:
    Thanks for sharing all this, Anne!
    Reply
  • Erin m. November 13, 2021 · 6:54AM:
    Great to "see" you again! I'm a longtime reader and wish you the best! You're doing a wonderful job 😊
    Reply
    • Anne
      November 13, 2021 · 9:39AM:
      Aw thank you Erin! I appreciate you being here <3
      Reply
  • Lisa of Lisa’s Yarns
    November 13, 2021 · 7:32AM:
    I feel this so hard! Our boys are 11 months and 3.5 years. They are healthy and happy but dang they exhaust us! I was supposed to have 3 days off this week to refill my tank and get things done, but mostly relax. But the baby had a fever so was home for 2 days and ended up having a double ear infection. So now I am having PTSD from all the ear infections our older son had, which wreaked havoc on his (and our) sleep and resulted in tubes at 9 months. Le sigh. I did mostly walking until around 5 months. I hadn’t ran since having our first son and felt really ready for running to be back in my life. And my neighbor was desperate for a running buddy. But I had been seeing a pelvic floor PT for some c section pain so she helped me get back to running safely and very gradually. I ran a 10 mile race the day the baby turned 10 months. It was embarrassingly slow but I got sick with an awful cold 2 weeks before the race that wouldn’t go away. And this is not the stage of life to train for speed. So I just reminded myself the accomplishment was about doing something for myself, and not about my time. I hope Wes is through the sleep regression soon. It hit our boys at 3.5 months and was so so so awful.
    Reply
    • Anne
      November 13, 2021 · 9:46AM:
      Oof, terrible timing with the sick baby - I'm so sorry to hear that! I hope it doesn't end up resulting in the need for tubes... and that you can get some days off in the future that are a nice break! I'm wondering when I'll feel I have the energy (and when the logistics won't feel impossible) to get runs in again... we'll see! I'm signed up for the Rock 'n' Roll DC half marathon in March (deferred from March 2020), but I highly doubt I'll feel ready for that considering I haven't run at all yet and it's already mid November!
      Reply
  • Kris S November 16, 2021 · 12:40PM:
    Hang in there my friend- do what's right for you and your family and don't stress about the rest :) The world will still be here when you come out of this phase! And so will your friends! :)
    Reply
    • Anne
      November 16, 2021 · 2:04PM:
      Thanks Kris :)
      Reply
  • EmilY November 19, 2021 · 11:07AM:
    If we were having coffee, I’d tell you this sounds exactly like my life 6 years ago. We were spending the weekend at my in-law’s cabin and I went to make a Keurig coffee. I, too, forgot to put the coffee mug underneath. I, too, was sleep deprived beyond reason with a 3 year-old-girl and a baby boy who never slept more than two hours at a time. I’d try not to tell you to just enjoy this time (that baby boy just started kindergarten this fall), because I know the days feel long AND the years go by so quickly. I’d tell you motherhood is so hard; I’m not sure it ever gets easy. AND it’s the best job on Earth. I’d tell you, “Great job, Mama.”
    Reply
    • Anne
      November 22, 2021 · 11:36AM:
      Thank you Emily, this is so sweet <3 I'm sure there were a lot of emotions with your baby boy starting Kindergarten... the days are long and the years are short is so true.
      Reply
  • Kori November 19, 2021 · 2:32PM:
    I love this conversational style post! Sim brought the both/and approach to me, and I love it. I am so so excited to be pregnant and to embark on motherhood AND I'm terrified and uncertain. I am loving this time of year and I am missing my family who are no longer with us. I am excited at each new milestone I reach and sad that time passes so fast. I hope you all are able to get some more rest soon! I appreciate your philosophy and approach to this season of your life. Also, Wes' avocado bodysuit is precious!
    Reply
    • Anne
      November 22, 2021 · 11:36AM:
      Thank you Kori! <3
      Reply
  • Anita November 19, 2021 · 9:44PM:
    Hello there lovely family, Is nice to see you Anne AND honestly I enjoyed,every time when I was coming here. I BELIVE is not easy with two wonderful kids ,but you looks lovely even tired as you say. All of us were experienced hard time lately and Yes the coup of coffee is bigger is American coffee. These moments that you are experiencing for now will be a funny memory,sooo soon just enjoy it,strolling around and breathing the cooler air is the best and blessings,some of us can reach at gym 🤩 We can be thankful for every moment,we probably got more resilience 👍! As long as we are healthy AND we can bearing! Riese is so lovely little lady I am sure she is enjoying her school 💚 Wes pretty son will join her to playground 🦋 By the way,,I see Freya back home,,So,more walk will make it a run 🏃‍♀️ 🤩 Be safe, Happy Thanksgiving 🍁🦃 AND Happy Holiday 👒🎄🎊🎉
    Reply
    • Anne
      November 22, 2021 · 11:37AM:
      Thank you Anita!
      Reply
  • Jen December 6, 2021 · 8:26PM:
    Loved the style of this post!! So real and resonates very strongly.
    Reply
    • Anne
      December 7, 2021 · 12:52PM:
      Thank you <3
      Reply
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about Anne

anne mauney fannetastic food
Hi, I’m Anne! I'm a Washington D.C. based Registered Dietitian, mother, runner, and lover of travel, adventure, and the great outdoors. I've been blogging since 2009, sharing a mix of lifestyle content, recipes, and fitness tips. Come for the recipes – stay for the fun!
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anne mauney

I’m Anne, a Registered Dietitian and mother. I've been blogging since 2009 and love showing others that eating nutritious foods and staying active can actually be fun rather than overwhelming!

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